After months of listening to muffled speech, toilet flushes, running bath water, and one night of moaning autonomous sex, she decided to reveal herself as Audience. She sat on the edge of the tub, the cold lip biting into her thighs, and waited to hear him shuffle in.

She heard the click of the light switch first, then his heavy steps hitting the linoleum, then the tight-lipped whistle and stream of urine splash the toilet water. She walked towards the mirror and said hello, a little louder than normal, but not quite a yell. She could see his hesitation through the silent wall. She said it again, “Hello.” He cleared his throat and then ventured his own Hi back. It sounded dim through the drywall, like only half his voice had carried, but it was really his reluctance ringing through.

“I can hear everything that goes on in your bathroom. I thought I should tell you so you didn’t think you were alone.” And again the silence.“I don’t try to listen, it’s just that these walls are so thin, and yeah, I hear things.”

“Okay.” he paused, “But don’t think I don’t hear you too. You echo just as loudly as I do.”

She stopped; the thought had never entered her mind. How many times had she had loud bouts of explosive diarrhea, how many times had her masturbating taken her to a high pitched climax, how many times had she sung tunelessly to Modest Mouse in the shower?

“You have a great singing voice by the way,” he said, blatantly sarcastic.

She gasped in embarrassment.

“Hey, I’m not criticizing any of your habits, I’m simply stating the facts. What’s your name then?”

She knew this was the “in” she was looking for and didn’t dare waste the chance. “You know what would be really romantic? If we never told each other our names and only spoke through this wall. We can pretend that we don’t know each other when we’re on the outside. We can be totally honest because we’ll never have to look into each other’s eyes. And we won’t tell anyone, it’ll be something just for us.” Silence as he thought her offer through.

“I don’t think so.”

“What?” She didn’t know what to say. She was sure he would agree and her fantasy would finally be alive, not penned up inside her head anymore.

“It’s silly, I’m too old for shit like this. Have a good night though. Oh and I’ll make sure to remember you’re listening when I’m in here.” And the whistle trailed out of the room.